BOOSTING YOUR SELF ESTEEM IN A TURBULENT ENVIRONMENT

By Valentine Muoma

Self esteem can be defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement.

Understanding of yourself comes in two ways; through your deliberate pursuits and/or through the acceptance and usage of the chances given to you. Either way, you will benefit so long as you don't choose to be misguided by circumstances that would try to redirect you to failure.

To gain confidence, you have to first of all understand the entirety of being yourself. This would entail your knowledge of everything that you are capable of doing, everything you cannot do so well and everything you find difficult doing. This also includes your talents, skills, weakness and fortes. After knowing these things, you need to accept that these are facts and love yourself and your imperfections. Once you accept yourself for who you are then you have started overcoming low self esteem.

Next is to appreciate and give proper value on all your attributes, always bear in mind that you are a unique being perfectly fit for uniqueness. Be intentional in identifying your unique spots.

Furthermore, find an activity that will both contribute to your being and will provide a pleasurable means for you to grow and gain more confidence Eg; Engaging in public speaking or vying for a leadership position.

Another good way to gain self confidence (esteem) is through goal setting. People tend to set higher goals than what they can truly achieve. This occurs because they believe that by setting higher goals, they would be motivated to achieve more. The fact is, higher expectations comes with more frustration. Overcome your limits first before setting higher goals.

Another way of boosting your self confidence is by utilizing your potentials for the good of humanity. As often as you can, volunteer to impact people's lives with your abilities without expecting anything in return. 

Again, taking responsibility for your actions is another sure way of gaining self confidence. Appreciate yourself and believe that you are worth your appreciation

Finally, focus more on your commitment to achieving your goals and less on compliments from people. The implication of building your confidence on people's compliments is that your confidence can also be shattered by criticism from them. Public opinion are unstable. Have the confidence that is impervious to what others think.

Capacity Building: The Call for Self Development.

By Valentine Muoma

 Capacity building is a process, whereby an individual develops and strengthens his skills, instincts, abilities and resources in order to adapt, thrive and succeed in his environment (society). An essential ingredient in capacity building is transformation that is generated and sustained over time from within.

Some capacity building activities include:

1. Training: One-on-one or group training, whether face-to-face or online, can increase personal knowledge and skills surrounding an issue. Individuals receive the tools they need to take meaningful actions, advocate and help educate others not only in school but in their organization, community, or personal sphere.

2. Mentorships: Mentoring provides intensive, personalized guidance and builds knowledge and skills. By learning from those with expertise and experience, mentees can gain confidence and build personal and professional networks. Seeking mentorship and accepting to be a mentor to another person is a wonderful means of building capacity

3. Healthy living: Eating healthy and balanced diets, going for medical check-up, personal hygiene, exercise more often, attending social events, smiling constantly, celebrating other people's success, shun overthinking and preposterous lamenting which could lead to schizophrenia, avoid negative thoughts which results from jealousy that begins with comparing yourself to others

When an individual sees life as a competition, he is bound to get infuriated because their is always someone faster, smarter and stronger than him but he must learn to acknowledge the fact that he is unique and no one can be like him.

Focus on becoming a better version of your present self and give up the endless, self defeating and pointless pursuit to be better than someone else.

Divert your attention from being the best, focus more on doing your best and you may end up being the best.

Desist from comparing yourself with another person rather compare who you are today with who you were yesterday, if there is a progress, no matter how small it is then you are progressing (building capacity)

There is really no race, unless the one that was given to you by God which is the only race worth running. This race is not against others but against yourself, discover it and finish the course that was set for you.

Only run the race marked for you, others' race should not define yours. Once you leave your success path and follow that of another person, you will be lost completely until you retrace your steps. Anything you love doing so far as it is positive, keep on doing it for that is what would eventually make you stand out of the crowd.

One of the topmost problems of people in today's world is overthinking. Overthinking is an art of creating problems that do not even exist. Thinking is not bad but when you start overthinking, it disturbs your peace of mind and life and also makes you fall into a state of depression that kills you slowly. Whatever the case maybe, keep your mind calm and try to focus on positive things and positive thoughts.

Salvage yourself from melancholic thoughts. Your thoughts can either build or destroy you. Your mood and behaviour are closely related to your thoughts. If you take all things positively, you will find a better result and ultimately, it will make your mood happy. If you think negatively, you cannot solve your problems and this will make your mood bad and sad. Being positive is the secret to a fortuitous mood.

 Life is in phases, everyone has their own place, fix your gaze, focus only on your race.

You are in a competition with no one else but yourself. The day you stop racing with others and focus on building capacity is the day you win your race.

4. Human development: The critical element of human development is very essential for human evolution especially among our youths. youth development and empowerment are very crucial in capacity building of the youths of our nation. It helps them have a more fulfilling life. The human capital formed in the youths is an important determinant to long term growth which the nation can invest and rely on. The government has a huge role to play here. Once the government build more industries for the production of goods and services and also provide an enabling environment that allows private firms to thrive, the youths would be gainfully employed and empowered to be able to develop themselves in line with their passions, talent and abilities

The government and influential people in the society should establish more skill acquisition centres and vocational institutes to enable the youths groom their talents for youths who are zealous and outstanding in their fields of endeavour. For instance, youths who are very good in acting and fancy's cinematography should be sent to a film institute with free sponsorship and in turn they may be recruited into Nollywood, the Nigeria film industry, immediately after training.  

Competitions in mathematics, sciences, public speaking, and writing should be organized to encourage academic excellence of the youths from primary to tertiary institutions. Youths who are outstanding in their academics should be given automatic employment or sponsored to further their studies either at home or abroad.

Youths who have shown interest and commitment in acquiring ICT skills should be trained and employed after training or enabled to set up their own ICT firm.

Finally, the curriculum of tertiary institutions should be reviewed to accommodate more practical training for our youths. A graduate of Food Science, Pharmacy, Botany or Biochemistry should be able to use herbs to produce drugs that can cure illness and also recommend meals, fruits and vegetables that meets the nutritional needs of different categories of people (infants, young adults, elderly people,  pregnant and breast feeding mothers, etc).  A graduate from the faculty of Social Sciences should be able to analyze the social, economic and political problems of the nation, provide solutions to it (if given the opportunity), be a good orator, an outstanding writer and a behavioural analyst.

Invest In Your Abilities

By Valentine Muoma

She roamed the street like a mislaid chap

Saddled with thoughts of her existence,

The distressed state of her nation,

The deceptive counsel of her colleagues living luxurious lives

The life of affluence birthed by promiscuity, slander and fraudulent manipulation

As she reminisced on her colleagues delusive counsel,

The vibe to adopt their extravagant lifestyle intensified

The desire of lust and luxury beclouded her mind

But her pledge of celibacy held her back

Which made her feel like someone under hostage

As a scholar and gargantuan of psychology,

She craved to be a psychotherapist

To be honoured and acknowledged as an intellectual

To be showered with monetary and material rewards

But the reverse seemed to be the case 

The scorn and vituperation from peers weighed her down

As she pondered on her present ordeal,

She heard a voice from within say to her:

Stop seeking validation from toxic people

Take heed to wise counsel 

Revoke all forms of parley with delusive nonentities

Your indulgence with them diminishes your worth and prestige

Invest in your abilities

Study and research on your field of interest

Engage in credible social activities that make you happy

Relieve yourself of melancholic thoughts

To gain prominence in your career,

Utilize your abilities for the good of humanity

Build your confidence not on compliment from people

But from personal conviction

You are the star of your life. 

FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS

By Valentine C. Muoma

He wallowed in solitude

Deeply engrossed in thought

Hunched over with a sense of dismay

With the feeling that his heart had been ripped off

This state of misery beclouded him

His encounter with miscreants and backstabbers unsettled him 

The retrogressive state of the Nation startled him

The phobia of vituperation muted him

His life path seemed bleak and uncertain

Unhappy lines on his face etched deeply

As he wondered gloomily in his thoughts,

He heard a voice say to him:

It is your choice to make on how to live your life

You will remain a shadow of your true self

If you fail to heal from the brunt of your past experiences

Let not the wrongs of others towards you overwhelm you

Purge yourself of resentment

Detach from anything detrimental to you and those around you

Careless about what the multitude say about you 

Liaise more with those who sacrifice their time and treasure for your well being

Open your mind to what lies ahead of you

Focus on what really matters

Be consistent in the pursuit of your goals and aspirations

Utilize your God given potentials

Never give up on your self

Your intuition is always right.

The Significance of social groups to an individual and the society written by Valentine C. Muoma

When a thing or phenomenon is tagged significant it means the thing is imperative, important, relevant, necessary, consequential, essential, etc which means that social groups are necessary for the development of an individual and the society.

A group can be defined as a number of things or persons being in some relation to one another. 

A group can also be defined as subset of a culture or of a society. According to Wikipedia, There are four main types of groups: 1) primary groups, 2) social groups, 3) collectives, and 4) categories

 In the social sciences, a social group can be defined as two or more people who interact with one another, share similar characteristics, and collectively have a sense of unity. Social groups come in a myriad of sizes and varieties. For example, a society can be viewed as a large social group. The system of behaviors and psychological processes occurring within a social group or between social groups is known as group dynamics. 

Socialization Socialization is the process of internalizing the norms and ideologies of the society.

 Socialization can also be defined as a process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society) 

Socialization encompasses both learning and teaching and is thus, The means by which social and cultural continuity are attained.

 Humans need social experiences to learn their culture and to survive. Socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behavior, beliefs and actions of adults as well as of children.

Significance of social groups to an individual and the society. Membership of social groups are very essential for the following reasons:

i. social groups help the people know themselves better, interact, learn more about their history and cultural values.

ii. Social groups also helps to promote love and unity between the members of the community.

iii. Social groups enables the people come together to fight external aggression.

iv. Social groups helps the people come together to meliorate the challenges confronting them such as rebellion, financial challenge, land dispute, marital crises, family crises, nymphomania, psychological trauma, etc

v. Social groups come together to establish a force that help in the maintenance of law and order in the community.

vi. Social groups gives the people the privilege to partake in the decision making process of the community.

vii. Social groups endorse persons who adjudicate on the abnormalities truncating the progress of the community.

ix. Social groups contribute to the development of the community by sponsoring projects for the provision and maintenance of the infrastructural facilities of the community.

x. Social groups ensure that the customs, traditions, values and norms of their people does not go into extinction.

xi. Social groups helps in the preservation of the cultural artifacts of their people.

xii. Social groups aid Ekistics. Ekistics is the scientific study of human settlements and the planning and design of cities and other communities.

SALVAGE NIGERIA FROM RETROGRESSION

By Valentine C. Muoma

Nigeria my country

The giant of Africa

Blessed with natural resources

Free from natural disasters

Colonized and exploited by developed Nations

Finally became sovereign in 1960

Nigeria my country

Presently skewed by modernization theory,

Leading to the politics of retrogression and

Economy of recession

The politics of demagoguery, prebendalism, tribalism and imperialism has become a norm

Paving way for mediocrity, insecurity, inequality, dependency, corruption, bad governance and all forms of malfeasance

Our redemption from retrogression can be actualized by:

Severing foreign relations detrimental to our development

Pursuit of internal growth policy with cognizance to our peculiarities

Political restructuring where mediocrity gives way to meritocracy

An independent judiciary devoid of external interference

Diversifying the economy towards ICT, Agriculture and entrepreneurship is essential

Allocating more revenue to the advancement of our educational sector 

Upholding the principle of equity and respect for human rights

Empowering law enforcement agencies for the fight against corruption and insecurity

Shunning ethnicity and embracing national integration

With these redemption measures in place,

The motto of our Nation "Unity and faith, peace and progress",

Would be seen not just in theory but also in practice

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